Episode 1:
E: "I want [identity protected] to be my boyfriend, if he wants to be."
Me: "Why?"
E: "Because he's good at soccer and I like playing soccer with him."
Me: "That sounds nice. Why not just friends, though, why boyfriend? Do you want to kiss him?"
-OK, break here - if you know my family, you'll know that this is half trying to get information out of her and half teasing. It's got Anderson family written ALL over it. You can take the girl away from the Andersons, but you can't take the Anderson out of the girl. Anyhoo -
E: "Well, yes, only if he wants to kiss me."
Me: "OK, well I'm not sure your school allows kissing, especially not for 3rd graders."
E: "Oh yeah, yeah, you're right."
Me: "Do you want to marrrrrrry him?" (and I can hear my grandfather's, mother's, and three aunts' voices in my own.)
E: [very thoughtful] "I don't know. We would need to be together for a long time first to decide that. It's a big decision, and I wouldn't want to get separated."
The next day:
E: "I asked [identity protected] to be my boyfriend, and he said no. So then later I asked if we could be just friends and he said yes!"
Episode 2: (At bedtime)
E: "Mom, what's the name of the thing that [Censored] needs that helps with peeing because he doesn't have something?"
Me: "You mean dialysis to clean his blood because his kidneys don't work? It doesn't help him pee, it cleans his blood because his kidneys can't clean it and put the wastes into pee."
E: "Kidneys! That's the word I was thinking of."
Me: "Yeah, kidneys are the organs that aren't working for him. Dialysis is what is cleaning his blood instead of his kidneys."
E: "Oh. With a machine?"
Me: "Yes."
E: "How does the machine work?"
Me: "Go to sleep, I'll email you."
I would like to know how many parents send their 8 year old a link like this: http://goeshealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/hemodialysis.jpg - or more specifically, how many 8 year olds want to know.
Episode 3:
E: "Mom, when I have kids will I love them as much as I love you?"
Me: "Oh yes, more maybe."
E: "MORE??? But I love you so much!"
Me: "Well, maybe not more, maybe a different flavor, like different scoops of ice cream that are all the same size. As though you had a scoop of ice cream for every person that you truly loved but each scoop was a different flavor."
E: "Thanks, Mom. I understood you the first time you said it."
Kid keeps me on my toes.
