January
After a new year's kiss from both her mom and dad, and a swig of Martinelli's post-clink in a real wine glass, Kes looked up at me and said, (wait for it...) "Where's the toast?"
Donovan: "Lalala" = Eliana. Oh my heart.
OK, I'm officially pathetic. Packing up to ship out two of the girls' dresses that they've outgrown and I sold... and crying.
Eliana asked for thirds at dinner tonight. Not surprising, except the meal was tofu with onions, cabbage, and brussel sprouts. Man, there is nothing on this planet like hearing a 6 year old say "more brussel sprouts, please".
Overheard from the next room: K - "You're not a fairy anymore." E - "Oh no, that means I'm dead!" (THUD)
February
Kes just got out of bed: "Mommy I have to tell you something. Thank you for naming me that, it's the most beautiful name in the whole world. And, I have to tell you a question. Who in our family loves God the most?"
Just got an automated call from my kids' medical group: "Our records indicate that your child has not received the flu vaccine. The flu season is not over." Funny, we've noticed both of those things in the past week.
March
E: "Mom, I wish there was magic in the world, so I could ask you to grant wishes, and I would wish that there were no more fires in the world, and no more bad dreams. Are you sure that wishing wells aren't real? Can we look for one, and if you let me have one of your pennies, I'll let you have one from my piggy bank."
I have brought 3 babies to this world from my own body, but tonight I laid hands on an emerging baby for the first time, and thought, "Oh wow, so *that's* how it works!"
Bought some nail polish at Whole Foods this morning to have a girly toenail painting session with my big girl. Eliana: "Wow, mom, thanks for the heck of spoiling me!"
Overheard on her way to her room for some mommy-enforced pull-it-together time, Eliana: "Why do I do this to myself?"
Had a fabulous vacation! Got to see 10 family members I rarely see, a friend I hadn't seen in 10 years, and my best friend. Watched my 12 year old cousin play ice hockey (the only girl in the league), went to a movie in the theatre for the first time in an embarrassingly long time, and let the kids run around UCLA.
April
Hospital cesarean rates range from 13.3%-70.5% in the state of California. I know what that says to me... what does it say to you?
Donovan is so happy to be home and see his Daddy that he just put on a 10 minute long slapstick/show-off demonstration for him. Had us both in stitches!
E: "My dream last night was bad! Our house was half like Grandma's house, and there was a secret room with a volcano in it. Then the volcano sprouted, and we had no snorkels! But for good, we survived."
Two hours at an alternative school yesterday, one meeting with our public school principal today, and I'm now more confused than ever.
As a naked D climbed into Kessa's bed this morning, Kessa: "Yike! I don't like boys with penises in my bed!" (Yeah, Kessa... keep that attitude for a loooong time, will ya?)
Just realized that today marks Donovan's 19 month birthday - which means he's nursed longer than either of my girls did! Only 5 months to go til the goal I always had and have never been so close to!
May
"Holy sakes, Mom, I love you so much it's even more than you love me!" Holy sakes, Eliana, I don't think that's possible.
The miracle of motherhood is that each child is the best one. Lucky me, I got the best mom to boot.
Took E with me to neonatal resuscitation role playing session today. She wanted to participate; I said the students needed to practice how to help babies who needed it. Her response? "When you're done, can you do a birth where the baby is OK, and then can I help?"
June
Laughing at myself for what just came out of my mouth after Eliana started to whine and make excuses after getting caught: "Don't fuss at me! You disobeyed me, I'm the one who should be fussing!"
We're officially nightweaning Donovan. And by "we" I mean Scott.
I would not recommend telling a 4.5 year old with an active imagination that there is magma underneath the earth's surface.
2 sexy men checked out my behind while talking in Italian... Great ego boost! Til 5 minutes later when I realized I just had a gummy bear stuck to my jeans.
July
Good life lived, Grandpa. Goodbye, I love you. You'll always be my hero.
The sadness sneaks up; I know it always will find its moments. There is peace in a certain rightness of it all. A long life of love, laughter, loss. The decline of the body, personality intact, unwilling to abide. All of us left behind celebrating the person we have lost, appreciating what he gave us. Wanting to fight it, but finding sadness untinged by injustice. Easier to accept the circle of life when it's full.
As of today, 28 assist births and ONE PRIMARY!!!
I just had the hands-down best vegetarian sushi I have ever had, and my mom said her salmon strawberry salad was about as good as it gets. Who knew the best Japanese food would be in Orem, Utah?
Donovan is squirting himself with a water gun, joyfully, right in the face.
August
I found D dragging the broom down the hallway, followed him to retrieve it, and found that he was bringing it out for a very good reason! (The contents of a box of cereal all over my kitchen floor.) I'd be proud of him for wanting to clean up after himself if I didn't suspect that the mess was made solely for that purpose.
Oopwoop (n): a small widely cultivated muskmelon with a heavily netted rind and reddish-orange flesh. Originated by Donovan, from the English, "cantaloupe."
I appreciate Sharon so much! And someday D will be able to tell you the same, instead of just calling you Tssth. (It's a start.)
September
D just walked up to me with an empty Odwalla bottle and mango smoothie in his hair and all over his face: "Uh-oh. Mmmmmmmmm!!!!"
I got paid a pretty penny to sleep in a strange man's bed last night. (An exercise in reserving judgement. I haven't traded in one of the world's oldest professions for the other.)
"Oh go away, bad lizard. Don't you be followin me. We're just playin a game, you're not a part of me. Oh go away, bad lizard. Don't you know I don't love you. Go away, go away." "Nice song, Eliana." "Well, you know, I'm a rock star."
Years and years of kids in cloth diapers, including 6 months of TWO in cloth, always washed my own. Making the switch to ordering a service. In other words, UNCLE!!!
Eliana just told me, "Mom, you should make yourself clear."
OMGcuteness: D's newest word is "happy!"
October
Living on a wish and caffeine.
I'm watching Kessa write a list of the books she wants, and D scribble with markers. So awesome that he is drawing with them instead of eating them!!!
I gave Donovan a sticker for pooping in the potty, which he promptly stuck to the end of his penis. Talk about defeating the purpose.
I would like to switch off my multitasking button, but I can't find it amidst all the stuff I'm doing.
Kes, having just been given white socks to put on: "but those don't have any beautiful for my girl feet!"
November
Ahem, pardon me, excuse me... SCOTT GAVE NOTICE!!! SCOTT GAVE NOTICE!!! New gig starts Nov 22. Hallelujah!!!
Today I stood in the space where Donovan was born, took deep breaths, and tried to let go. Everywhere else in the house I am excited to move out and move on. In that space, I want to stay forever.
E: "I don't want to wear leggings any more, I want to wear jeans because they make me look like a big kid, and I AM a big kid."
Every time my girls' twinkletoes light up while I'm driving in the dark, I think I'm getting pulled over by CHP. Dear Sketchers, next time could you make the lights in the twinkletoes any other color combo besides blue, white, and dark pink?
December
Current cutest word: "huk" = hug.
I wore sandals today. It was raining. That may officially make me a hippie, if I wasn't already.
E asked permission to stop playing with me and go on her zoobuh email. 2 minutes later I get an email from her: "Mom, can you gmail me back and tell me more about college?" And to think I expected she'd be emailing someone in maybe a *different* house.
Eliana, to me: "You are making my day so much more terrible than it was!!!" (internal monologue: "The feeling is mutual, my child.")
D is sleeping in his own bedroom tonight! Woot for ending the 3 kids in one room phase of our lives! Now to move all the toys out of the family room and into the kids' bedrooms!!!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Birth and the ocean
I wrote the following today in response to a FB comment in which a woman said how much she dislikes the adage "Trust birth." (I generally agree with her, though I understand the impetus to remove some of the excessive fear around birth in our society.)
I always say I trust birth like I trust the ocean. I trust it to be powerful, to have some constants but to be unpredictable, to be bigger than I am, and I don't turn my back on it. I can learn skills to help traverse it, but I can't control it. It can be beautiful, peaceful, awe-inspiring, and it can wreak havoc. It predicates life but can take life. And I love being around it.
I always say I trust birth like I trust the ocean. I trust it to be powerful, to have some constants but to be unpredictable, to be bigger than I am, and I don't turn my back on it. I can learn skills to help traverse it, but I can't control it. It can be beautiful, peaceful, awe-inspiring, and it can wreak havoc. It predicates life but can take life. And I love being around it.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Gems 2009
My mom doesn't seem to think Facebook is a good enough permanent record of how awesome my kids are. She's probably right; it's much easier to go back through my blog, and I can archive it on my computer. So, here are some of my favorite moments I posted on Facebook over the past few years, starting with 2009. I'm sure this isn't as interesting for you, dear readers, as a real update or an opinion piece, but I do want to hold on to these moments for my children's futures.
January 2009
Happy to be working on a 1000 piece puzzle instead of 24.
My husband appreciation shirt has been rendered unwearable by boy pee.
Bouncing a baby boy in his Beco Butterfly on a birth ball.
Being held captive by a snoozing boy. Or is that captivated?
Both relieved and sad that Donovan now takes a paci.
Crying with hope. (My friend Julie's son was born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia and was not expected to survive. This was in response to the first update after his birth, which told us that he was doing better than expected. He's three now. http://thetuleys.blogspot.com/)
February 2009
Can't type my statu s beca use D keeps h itt ing the spa ce bar.
Who swapped out D for anti-sleep boy?
Very sad about the line of cars outside E's school with posters in the windows that say, "I teach here and got my pink slip."
March 2009
My baby boy officially exists. (Got him his birth certificate at 5.5 months of age.)
Amazed that I went from 0 to 3 kids asleep in 60 seconds. If only it had been a little earlier....
May 2009
Laugh for the day: Kessa: "When I was a little kid..."
I love co-sleeping, but I'm becoming less and less enamored with co-not-sleeping.
Just found Eliana filling in the online form to be contacted by an "Admissions Advisor" from American InterContinental University.
June 2009
I hope D will find a new, and less stinky, favorite food than goat cheese.
Cleaning house with a boy on my back.
Flabbergasted that D purposefully submerged his entire face in the bathtub, held it under for several seconds, and repeated this several times tonight.
July 2009
I think it's official - D talks! None of my 3 kids' first words have been mama or dada, but all 3 have made me proud. (Eliana: book; Kesenia: Nana (Eliana); Donovan: Nehneh (nursies).)
Trying to figure out which shoulder houses the good angel and which shoulder houses the bad angel.
Just looked in the baby book and found out that at D's age, Kes was 3 lbs and 1.25" bigger than Donovan. And y'all wonder why I look confused when you tell me how big he is.
Awesome thing about Elly #473: She loves watching opera on TV, cries about the plot, but won't stop reading the subtitles to spare herself.
The UC Davis Human Lactation Center - love that they have to specify "human."
Grasping at D's infancy.
August 2009
It's absolutely stunning how much cooler - erm, *less hot* - 100 degrees feels when I'm not pregnant.
I need a shower, I have D's banana on my shirt, my girls are in jammies, D is pantsless, and I am going to Peet's right NOW.
Fell asleep at 8:30 with Donovan. Kudos to Eliana: "I noticed it was dark out so I looked at the clock, and it said 9:17 so I went to bed."
September 2009
Woke up this morning to Kessa telling Donovan, "You're my pride and joy!"
Which child do I take to 4 year old preschool today? KESSA??? Doesn't Eliana still go to Beth Emek? What do you mean she's in first grade? Donovan's not turning one! Stop denying me my denial!
A year ago just now, I had some good contractions and a sneezing fit, and when I sneezed in the middle of a good contraction, my water broke. I thought, wow, we'll probably have this baby by dawn. Ha! Wrong, so wrong. Contractions ramped up for a couple hours and then stopped, and thus began the waiting game. And now you know, don't sneeze during contractions unless you're really in labor.
October 2009
Got home from a birth at 5:30 am and wondered briefly what my neighbors must think when I drive up to the house at all hours, park terribly, and stumble to my front door, then decided I don't care.
3.7 near Sunol = first earthquake Eliana has felt.
"Eliana, if I said you could take piano when you turn 7, but you'd have to choose a sport to give up, what would you choose?" "No, Mom, I don't want to stop doing any of my activities." *picks jaw up off floor*
Having Mommy guilt about my 3 days away at MANA after hearing Kessa cry out in her sleep and say, "Bye-bye, Mama!" Heartbreaking.
November 2009
The house does not have feelings. The house does not have feelings. My kids needed to play at the park today, and the house does not have feelings.
Today, I'm thankful that my hair is Kessa's blankie. Mmmmm, cuddles. (Aw, she gave that up when I made her quit thumb-sucking.)
December 2009
Major milestone: the day the kid reaches something higher than you thought he could reach, making an enormous mess, and you mutter to yourself while cleaning it up, though you are superbly thankful it wasn't something sharp or hot.
Apparently I didn't learn from yesterday's milestone. Today, my shoes smell like eggnog.
Last night's Hanukkah: sparse decorating, candlelighting, latkes, applesauce, broccoli, cake, and a $9 present that they all have to share... and they smothered me in gratefulness and love. Three cheers for unspoiled children.
I wonder what causes a one year old to wake himself up in the middle of the night by hiccuping.
Eliana gave my brother a list of seven things to find, requiring him to check them off using stickers, and then wrote him a note saying, "Congragalations! You figured out the scavenger hunt!"
January 2009
Happy to be working on a 1000 piece puzzle instead of 24.
My husband appreciation shirt has been rendered unwearable by boy pee.
Bouncing a baby boy in his Beco Butterfly on a birth ball.
Being held captive by a snoozing boy. Or is that captivated?
Both relieved and sad that Donovan now takes a paci.
Crying with hope. (My friend Julie's son was born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia and was not expected to survive. This was in response to the first update after his birth, which told us that he was doing better than expected. He's three now. http://thetuleys.blogspot.com/)
February 2009
Can't type my statu s beca use D keeps h itt ing the spa ce bar.
Who swapped out D for anti-sleep boy?
Very sad about the line of cars outside E's school with posters in the windows that say, "I teach here and got my pink slip."
March 2009
My baby boy officially exists. (Got him his birth certificate at 5.5 months of age.)
Amazed that I went from 0 to 3 kids asleep in 60 seconds. If only it had been a little earlier....
May 2009
Laugh for the day: Kessa: "When I was a little kid..."
I love co-sleeping, but I'm becoming less and less enamored with co-not-sleeping.
Just found Eliana filling in the online form to be contacted by an "Admissions Advisor" from American InterContinental University.
June 2009
I hope D will find a new, and less stinky, favorite food than goat cheese.
Cleaning house with a boy on my back.
Flabbergasted that D purposefully submerged his entire face in the bathtub, held it under for several seconds, and repeated this several times tonight.
July 2009
I think it's official - D talks! None of my 3 kids' first words have been mama or dada, but all 3 have made me proud. (Eliana: book; Kesenia: Nana (Eliana); Donovan: Nehneh (nursies).)
Trying to figure out which shoulder houses the good angel and which shoulder houses the bad angel.
Just looked in the baby book and found out that at D's age, Kes was 3 lbs and 1.25" bigger than Donovan. And y'all wonder why I look confused when you tell me how big he is.
Awesome thing about Elly #473: She loves watching opera on TV, cries about the plot, but won't stop reading the subtitles to spare herself.
The UC Davis Human Lactation Center - love that they have to specify "human."
Grasping at D's infancy.
August 2009
It's absolutely stunning how much cooler - erm, *less hot* - 100 degrees feels when I'm not pregnant.
I need a shower, I have D's banana on my shirt, my girls are in jammies, D is pantsless, and I am going to Peet's right NOW.
Fell asleep at 8:30 with Donovan. Kudos to Eliana: "I noticed it was dark out so I looked at the clock, and it said 9:17 so I went to bed."
September 2009
Woke up this morning to Kessa telling Donovan, "You're my pride and joy!"
Which child do I take to 4 year old preschool today? KESSA??? Doesn't Eliana still go to Beth Emek? What do you mean she's in first grade? Donovan's not turning one! Stop denying me my denial!
A year ago just now, I had some good contractions and a sneezing fit, and when I sneezed in the middle of a good contraction, my water broke. I thought, wow, we'll probably have this baby by dawn. Ha! Wrong, so wrong. Contractions ramped up for a couple hours and then stopped, and thus began the waiting game. And now you know, don't sneeze during contractions unless you're really in labor.
October 2009
Got home from a birth at 5:30 am and wondered briefly what my neighbors must think when I drive up to the house at all hours, park terribly, and stumble to my front door, then decided I don't care.
3.7 near Sunol = first earthquake Eliana has felt.
"Eliana, if I said you could take piano when you turn 7, but you'd have to choose a sport to give up, what would you choose?" "No, Mom, I don't want to stop doing any of my activities." *picks jaw up off floor*
Having Mommy guilt about my 3 days away at MANA after hearing Kessa cry out in her sleep and say, "Bye-bye, Mama!" Heartbreaking.
November 2009
The house does not have feelings. The house does not have feelings. My kids needed to play at the park today, and the house does not have feelings.
Today, I'm thankful that my hair is Kessa's blankie. Mmmmm, cuddles. (Aw, she gave that up when I made her quit thumb-sucking.)
December 2009
Major milestone: the day the kid reaches something higher than you thought he could reach, making an enormous mess, and you mutter to yourself while cleaning it up, though you are superbly thankful it wasn't something sharp or hot.
Apparently I didn't learn from yesterday's milestone. Today, my shoes smell like eggnog.
Last night's Hanukkah: sparse decorating, candlelighting, latkes, applesauce, broccoli, cake, and a $9 present that they all have to share... and they smothered me in gratefulness and love. Three cheers for unspoiled children.
I wonder what causes a one year old to wake himself up in the middle of the night by hiccuping.
Eliana gave my brother a list of seven things to find, requiring him to check them off using stickers, and then wrote him a note saying, "Congragalations! You figured out the scavenger hunt!"
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