Well, if those were real smiles, he hasn't done it again. But he has spent more time awake the past few days, and has been making a lot of eye contact.
Kes is still kissing him every chance she gets, and being a little mommy to him. She brings him things that belong to him and lays them on him (nevermind that he can't hold them). She rocks him gently in his bouncer or swing (nevermind that he's sleeping). It's pretty darn cute.
Elly is less concerned with him. She's happy to have him around but is not so *on* him all the time. But she'll read him a book or sing him a song, usually in the evenings after Kes is in bed. But her focus is on Kes during the day - after all, Kes can actually play with her. Newborns are only so interesting when you're five... and active.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
New connections
Eliana: "Mommy, I made friends with a boy! But just one. His name is Wyatt."
Kessa: "I love my baby brother."
Donovan: *smile*
No really, I think he smiled. 3 times. Because each time he looked me in the eye, I smiled and talked to him, and he got this big smile that looks nothing like his gas smiles. Isn't 3 weeks too early though?
Kessa: "I love my baby brother."
Donovan: *smile*
No really, I think he smiled. 3 times. Because each time he looked me in the eye, I smiled and talked to him, and he got this big smile that looks nothing like his gas smiles. Isn't 3 weeks too early though?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Love for calming
About a week ago Elly had a total meltdown at bedtime. She was bargaining, making demands and ultimatums, and having screaming fits ("If you don't stop telling me to put on my jammies I'm going to go to bed right now with. my. clothes. on.")
Finally I took her by the hand and led her to bed as she was screaming down the hallway. I bundled her in a bear hug and forced her blankie onto her nose (she sniffs it for comfort). I held her and whispered over and over, "I love you. I love you. I love you." Finally she stopped screaming and I told her, "You're my first baby. You're so big. But you'll always be my baby. Once upon a time you were in my belly, and you came out, and you were a baby. And now you're so big and amazing and you're still my baby. And when you're a grown-up you'll be my baby. And I'll always love you just as much as I always have." And we cuddled for a few minutes and then she said, "Mommy, thank you for calming me down."
Finally I took her by the hand and led her to bed as she was screaming down the hallway. I bundled her in a bear hug and forced her blankie onto her nose (she sniffs it for comfort). I held her and whispered over and over, "I love you. I love you. I love you." Finally she stopped screaming and I told her, "You're my first baby. You're so big. But you'll always be my baby. Once upon a time you were in my belly, and you came out, and you were a baby. And now you're so big and amazing and you're still my baby. And when you're a grown-up you'll be my baby. And I'll always love you just as much as I always have." And we cuddled for a few minutes and then she said, "Mommy, thank you for calming me down."
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Welcome Donovan
On Sunday night, Sept 28, around 9:30, I was reading in bed, having prelabor contractions like I’d been having for the past few days. Scott was looking at me funny, saying how close together they were getting and was I sure I wasn’t going into labor. I said I sure hoped I was going into labor but I wasn’t going to bet on it. Then I got a sneezing fit, and realized that a full bladder, contractions, and sneezing were not a good combination, so I got up and as I was walking, I sneezed and felt something give and then a gush. “I think my water just broke” I said to Scott. “You’re kidding.” he said.
Over the next few minutes the water continued to come so I became more confident that I hadn’t peed myself and called Mason to let her know. We agreed that I’d either get some sleep or if the contractions picked up I’d call her back. At first the contractions did pick up. I called Kate who drove into town. Scott and I went on a walk to try to get them going even faster, but all that did was get me tired, so when we came back I laid down in bed. I slept for about an hour and was woken up by a big contraction. I was then up for a few hours with good contractions and then went to lay down and rest again. I ended up sleeping for the rest of the night, waking up Monday morning terribly disappointed that I had not truly gone into labor. Mason and her apprentice Liesl came to check on the baby, and he was doing great. She said as long as my fluid stayed good and my temp stayed down there was no rush and we could wait to the next day to pull out the “big guns”. She said that it was all about infection control and I wasn’t allowed to use public toilets – so for someone who is peeing every half hour I stayed homebound, with the exception of going to an acupuncturist (unfortunately not my usual because she is closed Mondays) to try to get labor going. Kate decided to go home to nurse Rowan and Meriden.
I never got any contractions for the rest of the day that were anything like the ones I’d had the night before. It was a long, frustrating day. I started worrying that I’d have to go to the hospital for pitocin but comforted myself with Mason’s confidence and the knowledge that there was time left and lots that could be done at home to get things going that we hadn’t yet tried and weren’t even ready to try. Rosh Hashanah started that night and we had a lovely dinner as a family. I felt calm and positive after that. I went to bed hoping to wake up in the middle of the night in labor, but once again I woke up Tuesday morning with an internal baby. I was hopeful, though, because I’d been waking up through the night with contractions, about every half hour.
By the time Mason came to check on me around 9, I’d been having contractions about every 6 minutes for a while. Around 10 I started having contractions every 3 minutes or so. I lay down to see if that would change them and it did, they slowed back down to every 6. Mason called around 11 to see how things were going and I reported the current state of affairs. I got out of bed and soon after that the contractions picked up even more and around noon they were about every 2 minutes apart (says Scott, I was not paying any attention to that by now). I asked Scott to stay in the room with me and read a book – I still didn’t want his attention or help but it was comforting to have him nearby. I was pacing in our room, stopping to lean on something during contractions. Sometime between 12 and 1 I started vocalizing through them. I couldn’t believe in between contractions how much I didn’t feel like I was in labor. With both my girls I had had back labor and that just doesn’t let up in between. Even the contractions were easier than the back labor. I didn't realize how big labor was getting because it was so much easier than before, and because I was too busy to care anyway.
At 1 Mason called to check in and said she’d be over in about an hour. She’d been taking her time, since the last time we talked labor was still pretty leisurely, but after hearing how labor was doing now, she was in a hurry. ("Scott says you're contracting every 2 minutes???" "Um... if that's what he says then I guess so.") The next hour went very fast for me - I was deep in laborland. I told Scott I wanted to get in the tub but was afraid it’d either slow me down or make me have the baby without Mason here (Kes was born 15 minutes after I got in the tub at 7 cm dilation and -1 station). But a few minutes later, around 2pm, my contractions changed and were suddenly very sharp, low and in front. That hurt so much I decided to get in the tub whatever it might do to my labor. The warm water felt good but did not take away that sharp low pain. Liesl arrived shortly after and started setting up for the birth. She offered supportive words about how I was coping. As she finished setting up, Mason arrived. It felt good having Scott on one side of me and Mason on the other as I draped myself over the side of the tub. Mason said I was getting close and gave some guidance to help me fully relax between contractions.
Soon I started getting louder and feeling a little pushy. (At one point the thought went through my head that I sounded like Dory speaking whale.) I told Mason that I still felt like my cervix was in the way and she said it was probably just a lip left and I could probably push through it and get rid of it, so to just go with what I felt like doing. I tried that for a few contractions and then told her that it just wasn’t going away and it hurt a lot. She said I could either change position to take pressure off and try to breathe through a few contractions to see if it would go away, or I could get out of the tub and she could hold back the cervical lip while I pushed past it. I opted for #1. After a few contractions it hadn’t worked and was still searing pain so I got out of the tub for option #2. She found the lip and said that with the next contraction I would push through it. This sounded absolutely impossible. And at first it felt impossible, but then I found the strength and the control and she said, “that’s it, you did it” and just a moment later the pain was gone and was replaced by the sensation of his head on my perineum. (Later she told me that my cervix had been pinched between his head and my pubic bone… no wonder it hurt!!!) She gave me the choice of having him there or getting back in the tub and I got back in the tub, remembering how easy on my perineum Kessa’s birth had been and comparing that to the sensation I was feeling. Liesl went to get my family and soon Elly, Kes, my mom, and Kate filed in.
Pushing was hard. I was surprised how much effort it was taking, since with Kes I had been trying to slow her down on her way out. I really had to work this time though. And my perineum sure felt it this time, though I’m very glad I was in the water since I’m sure it would’ve hurt more in air. I really wanted him out, and it felt like it was taking a while, so I switched from hands and knees to squatting. Mason advised me on when to let up and when to push hard to let me stretch and avoid a tear, while Liesl gave counterpressure. Mason checked his heart tones frequently and he sounded great. Scott was getting ready to catch his son. Finally I got his head out and Mason said “there’s a nuchal cord” so Scott had to relinquish the babycatcher role to the professional. The rest of him was not coming and his heart rate took a dive. Mason asked me to flip over to face upright and said I had to push hard and get him out right away, so I did and Mason helped him somersault out, keeping his head and cord close to my body so he could be born with his cord intact.
She handed him to me and then quickly took him back to rub him up, as he was purple and floppy. I said, “Is he breathing?” and she said, “Not yet.” Then he started to breathe so she handed him back to me but he was still not breathing well and was not pinking up or getting vigorous. We all talked to him while she rubbed on him for a minute and he still was not breathing well enough so she had Scott cut the cord and took him over to the heating pad and bagged him for a few breaths. She then rubbed him and talked to him for a bit and then gave him a few more puffs. She handed him back to me but I wanted to get out of the tub so I handed him right back to her and got on the bed. She decided to give him some blow-by oxygen (an open tube by his face) and kept a close eye on him on the bed next to me. When she was satisfied with his condition she draped him across me. He started crawling toward the breast! Mason said, “Oh look at him go. He’s fine.”
He remained dusky in the hands and feet for a while and was breathing at twice the normal rate, so Mason stayed close by. He slowly pinked up his hands and feet and she said that fast breathing was normal for up to 24 hours after birth. They kept a close eye on my bleeding and said that it was fine but that my uterus kept relaxing (“cut that out” they said in unison) and then it would start bleeding too much, but that as long as I kept massaging it, it stayed firm. I had no tear. He nursed great on his first try, and Mason said that was a great indicator that he was healthy and had adjusted now to being outside of the womb. So we were deemed healthy and they went in the other room so we could cuddle and bond.
It helped so much that I knew Mason well enough to judge by her demeanor that things were going to be all right. And to fully trust her to take appropriate action. I am also glad I took a midwifery class this summer as that helped me understand what was going on. All of these things let me know that he just needed a little help and that he’d be fine. Scott didn’t have these benefits so he was pretty worried.
At our postpartum the next day I asked Mason about some of the events, to get her perspective. First of all she said that his cord was pinched over his shoulder so tightly that the blood was not flowing through it, and that when that shoulder was born she loosened the cord and it started pulsing again. She said that because of that hypoxia with his head out for so long, he may have tried to breathe and took in a little water. He was also only in the birth canal for a short amount of time (pushing was a total of 13 minutes, though it felt like longer to me!) and did not get the benefit of having the fluid squeezed out of him during the birth so he had more to get rid of afterwards. And she cut the cord a lot earlier than she likes to, in order to do the bag and mask. She said these four things added up to him having a hard time getting going on breathing well. His personality also probably added to it – he’s a laid-back little dude. She told me that she did not bag him to resuscitate him, that he was breathing the whole time (after the initial few seconds) but not well enough to oxygenate, so she did it to help him to expand his lungs and push the fluid out so that he could take deeper, better breaths. (She did not have to suction him despite the unsqueezed fluid and whatever water he may have taken.) I asked about apgars and she said they were 6 and 7.
It’s amazing how things work out. I am so thankful that out of my 3 births this was my homebirth, as it was the one that really needed to be at home. This birth would have been so different in the hospital – even at the Birth Home - and we benefitted both physically and emotionally from Mason’s care.
So, that is how, almost 42 hours after my water broke and 4 hours after my labor got active, we received our Rosh Hashanah present:
Donovan Charles
September 30, 2008
3:07 pm
9 pounds 1 ounce
20 inches
Over the next few minutes the water continued to come so I became more confident that I hadn’t peed myself and called Mason to let her know. We agreed that I’d either get some sleep or if the contractions picked up I’d call her back. At first the contractions did pick up. I called Kate who drove into town. Scott and I went on a walk to try to get them going even faster, but all that did was get me tired, so when we came back I laid down in bed. I slept for about an hour and was woken up by a big contraction. I was then up for a few hours with good contractions and then went to lay down and rest again. I ended up sleeping for the rest of the night, waking up Monday morning terribly disappointed that I had not truly gone into labor. Mason and her apprentice Liesl came to check on the baby, and he was doing great. She said as long as my fluid stayed good and my temp stayed down there was no rush and we could wait to the next day to pull out the “big guns”. She said that it was all about infection control and I wasn’t allowed to use public toilets – so for someone who is peeing every half hour I stayed homebound, with the exception of going to an acupuncturist (unfortunately not my usual because she is closed Mondays) to try to get labor going. Kate decided to go home to nurse Rowan and Meriden.
I never got any contractions for the rest of the day that were anything like the ones I’d had the night before. It was a long, frustrating day. I started worrying that I’d have to go to the hospital for pitocin but comforted myself with Mason’s confidence and the knowledge that there was time left and lots that could be done at home to get things going that we hadn’t yet tried and weren’t even ready to try. Rosh Hashanah started that night and we had a lovely dinner as a family. I felt calm and positive after that. I went to bed hoping to wake up in the middle of the night in labor, but once again I woke up Tuesday morning with an internal baby. I was hopeful, though, because I’d been waking up through the night with contractions, about every half hour.
By the time Mason came to check on me around 9, I’d been having contractions about every 6 minutes for a while. Around 10 I started having contractions every 3 minutes or so. I lay down to see if that would change them and it did, they slowed back down to every 6. Mason called around 11 to see how things were going and I reported the current state of affairs. I got out of bed and soon after that the contractions picked up even more and around noon they were about every 2 minutes apart (says Scott, I was not paying any attention to that by now). I asked Scott to stay in the room with me and read a book – I still didn’t want his attention or help but it was comforting to have him nearby. I was pacing in our room, stopping to lean on something during contractions. Sometime between 12 and 1 I started vocalizing through them. I couldn’t believe in between contractions how much I didn’t feel like I was in labor. With both my girls I had had back labor and that just doesn’t let up in between. Even the contractions were easier than the back labor. I didn't realize how big labor was getting because it was so much easier than before, and because I was too busy to care anyway.
At 1 Mason called to check in and said she’d be over in about an hour. She’d been taking her time, since the last time we talked labor was still pretty leisurely, but after hearing how labor was doing now, she was in a hurry. ("Scott says you're contracting every 2 minutes???" "Um... if that's what he says then I guess so.") The next hour went very fast for me - I was deep in laborland. I told Scott I wanted to get in the tub but was afraid it’d either slow me down or make me have the baby without Mason here (Kes was born 15 minutes after I got in the tub at 7 cm dilation and -1 station). But a few minutes later, around 2pm, my contractions changed and were suddenly very sharp, low and in front. That hurt so much I decided to get in the tub whatever it might do to my labor. The warm water felt good but did not take away that sharp low pain. Liesl arrived shortly after and started setting up for the birth. She offered supportive words about how I was coping. As she finished setting up, Mason arrived. It felt good having Scott on one side of me and Mason on the other as I draped myself over the side of the tub. Mason said I was getting close and gave some guidance to help me fully relax between contractions.
Soon I started getting louder and feeling a little pushy. (At one point the thought went through my head that I sounded like Dory speaking whale.) I told Mason that I still felt like my cervix was in the way and she said it was probably just a lip left and I could probably push through it and get rid of it, so to just go with what I felt like doing. I tried that for a few contractions and then told her that it just wasn’t going away and it hurt a lot. She said I could either change position to take pressure off and try to breathe through a few contractions to see if it would go away, or I could get out of the tub and she could hold back the cervical lip while I pushed past it. I opted for #1. After a few contractions it hadn’t worked and was still searing pain so I got out of the tub for option #2. She found the lip and said that with the next contraction I would push through it. This sounded absolutely impossible. And at first it felt impossible, but then I found the strength and the control and she said, “that’s it, you did it” and just a moment later the pain was gone and was replaced by the sensation of his head on my perineum. (Later she told me that my cervix had been pinched between his head and my pubic bone… no wonder it hurt!!!) She gave me the choice of having him there or getting back in the tub and I got back in the tub, remembering how easy on my perineum Kessa’s birth had been and comparing that to the sensation I was feeling. Liesl went to get my family and soon Elly, Kes, my mom, and Kate filed in.
Pushing was hard. I was surprised how much effort it was taking, since with Kes I had been trying to slow her down on her way out. I really had to work this time though. And my perineum sure felt it this time, though I’m very glad I was in the water since I’m sure it would’ve hurt more in air. I really wanted him out, and it felt like it was taking a while, so I switched from hands and knees to squatting. Mason advised me on when to let up and when to push hard to let me stretch and avoid a tear, while Liesl gave counterpressure. Mason checked his heart tones frequently and he sounded great. Scott was getting ready to catch his son. Finally I got his head out and Mason said “there’s a nuchal cord” so Scott had to relinquish the babycatcher role to the professional. The rest of him was not coming and his heart rate took a dive. Mason asked me to flip over to face upright and said I had to push hard and get him out right away, so I did and Mason helped him somersault out, keeping his head and cord close to my body so he could be born with his cord intact.
She handed him to me and then quickly took him back to rub him up, as he was purple and floppy. I said, “Is he breathing?” and she said, “Not yet.” Then he started to breathe so she handed him back to me but he was still not breathing well and was not pinking up or getting vigorous. We all talked to him while she rubbed on him for a minute and he still was not breathing well enough so she had Scott cut the cord and took him over to the heating pad and bagged him for a few breaths. She then rubbed him and talked to him for a bit and then gave him a few more puffs. She handed him back to me but I wanted to get out of the tub so I handed him right back to her and got on the bed. She decided to give him some blow-by oxygen (an open tube by his face) and kept a close eye on him on the bed next to me. When she was satisfied with his condition she draped him across me. He started crawling toward the breast! Mason said, “Oh look at him go. He’s fine.”
He remained dusky in the hands and feet for a while and was breathing at twice the normal rate, so Mason stayed close by. He slowly pinked up his hands and feet and she said that fast breathing was normal for up to 24 hours after birth. They kept a close eye on my bleeding and said that it was fine but that my uterus kept relaxing (“cut that out” they said in unison) and then it would start bleeding too much, but that as long as I kept massaging it, it stayed firm. I had no tear. He nursed great on his first try, and Mason said that was a great indicator that he was healthy and had adjusted now to being outside of the womb. So we were deemed healthy and they went in the other room so we could cuddle and bond.
It helped so much that I knew Mason well enough to judge by her demeanor that things were going to be all right. And to fully trust her to take appropriate action. I am also glad I took a midwifery class this summer as that helped me understand what was going on. All of these things let me know that he just needed a little help and that he’d be fine. Scott didn’t have these benefits so he was pretty worried.
At our postpartum the next day I asked Mason about some of the events, to get her perspective. First of all she said that his cord was pinched over his shoulder so tightly that the blood was not flowing through it, and that when that shoulder was born she loosened the cord and it started pulsing again. She said that because of that hypoxia with his head out for so long, he may have tried to breathe and took in a little water. He was also only in the birth canal for a short amount of time (pushing was a total of 13 minutes, though it felt like longer to me!) and did not get the benefit of having the fluid squeezed out of him during the birth so he had more to get rid of afterwards. And she cut the cord a lot earlier than she likes to, in order to do the bag and mask. She said these four things added up to him having a hard time getting going on breathing well. His personality also probably added to it – he’s a laid-back little dude. She told me that she did not bag him to resuscitate him, that he was breathing the whole time (after the initial few seconds) but not well enough to oxygenate, so she did it to help him to expand his lungs and push the fluid out so that he could take deeper, better breaths. (She did not have to suction him despite the unsqueezed fluid and whatever water he may have taken.) I asked about apgars and she said they were 6 and 7.
It’s amazing how things work out. I am so thankful that out of my 3 births this was my homebirth, as it was the one that really needed to be at home. This birth would have been so different in the hospital – even at the Birth Home - and we benefitted both physically and emotionally from Mason’s care.
So, that is how, almost 42 hours after my water broke and 4 hours after my labor got active, we received our Rosh Hashanah present:
Donovan Charles
September 30, 2008
3:07 pm
9 pounds 1 ounce
20 inches
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