The Series Finale

I suppose 14 weeks pregnant is a good time to introduce #3 to the blog.

This baby has kicked my butt so far. Such a hard pregnancy. I felt drunk and hung over at the same time for a few months, in addition to the regular feel of pregnancy nausea and fatigue (note lack of posts for said time period). I was barely functional. Now I am feeling better but it is still harder than my girls. Add to that some other new symptoms and I am pretty sure this is a boy.

Last night I had a dream that the baby was born. It was a boy and he didn't look a thing like either one of the names Scott and I are discussing. We got out the baby name book and couldn't come up with anything. Funny. He was a big'un... I guess my subconscious remembers what my babies look like, even after having attended all these births with regular and smallish babies since Kes was born. (9 of the 11 babies have been between 6-8 and 7-11)

I did have a girl dream a while back, but I blame that on a friend that said I was jinxing myself into a girl by thinking it was a boy... I had the dream that night, and in the dream it wasn't my baby. This was at 12 weeks, but in the dream I was 14 weeks and I woke up and I was bleeding and I said, oh no the baby. Scott, my mom, and my midwives (who of course, being in a dream, were not actually *my* midwives) all said, no, you gave birth, here she is... and presented me with a robust full-term baby girl. I said "but I'm 14 weeks" and they said, "well, your dates must've been off, because she's 8 pounds" and I didn't say anything but I decided I'd had a miscarriage and they'd presented me with someone else's baby to keep me from being sad, because my belly hadn't been big enough to house an 8 lb baby (not even a 2 lb baby).

The girls are thrilled. Elly can't wait and says she wants to be at the birth - not just the moment of birth but "the whole. I don't want to miss anything." (She IS my child, despite most of the evidence.) It is very abstract to Kes, but she will tell you that there's a baby in my belly, that it will come out, and that she'll be a big sister - it's just that there is no concept to her whether it's going to come out tomorrow or when she's 10.

Scott is really calm and has embraced this pregnancy and supported me with grace. (Male grace.) He is fully on board with the homebirth, which I appreciate so much.

I feel little baby movements, time and again. I love it. I'm looking forward to having them be stronger and more frequent. Feeling baby is my favorite part of pregnancy.