Worst. Mommy. Ever.

We had a frazzly shopping experience today, and left quickly. Kes climbed into the car on her side and Elly climbed after her, or so I thought. I popped the bags into the front passenger seat, and closed the door, expecting to go help Kes buckle up while Elly buckles up. Instead, there was Elly, still on the ground, now screaming: "Mommy! My hand! My hand is stuck!" I looked down and there it was, in the very very closed front passenger door. I open the door while she's screaming "Get it out! Get it out!" and pick her up and cradle her while she's still screaming "I want my blankie! My finger hurts! I need a bandaid! Is it bleeding? I want my blankie now!"

And, just in case I wasn't already feeling about as guilty as a mother can feel (which is tremendous), she then looks me in the eye with her tears streaming down and says:

"Mommy! You should have said, 'Please move your hand out of the way!'"

Which made me burst into tears and wiping away her tears I kept saying, "Oh honey I didn't know your hand was there. I would never do that on purpose. I am so sorry. I would absolutely have said to please move your hand if I had seen it there, or I would have waited." And she never said anything back to me.

Later, though, we were talking about it and I said I was sorry again, and she said, "It doesn't hurt anymore, Mommy, you don't have to be sorry."

I hope this is like when I shut the door on my mom when I was 10. She doesn't remember the incident, but I do because of the guilt. I hope Eliana doesn't remember... but I know I will never forget. My poor sweet baby.